Posted by: eoicarmina | 26 March, 2009

Fernando and Carmina’s mailshot

Dear Reader

New Book Club in Valencia

Would you like to be in a new different world every day?

Join our club and take the opportunity of discussing the proposed topics, meeting people and reading the latest releases.

Don’t be the last  one to start enjoying our great advantages. You can come to our chat days, debates with writers and literary workshops organized specially for you. Moreover, you can get a free cup of  coffee. All this comes together with incredible discounts on books for members.

Don’t forget you can benefit from our borrowing system too.

This book club congregates all kind of readers such as students, workers or retired people. Our members are  interested in  many different topics, like science subjects, geography or history.

Don’t think about it any longer!Subscribe now to our membership section and receive your two favourite books for free. In addition, if you bring a friend, you ‘ll pay half price for the membership fee during two months. Subscribe online at http://www.bookclubvalencia.com.

PS During this week, ask for information and get a special gift.

Advertisements

Responses

  1. Very good!
    The tittle and the hook work together attracting readers to continue discovering how to enjoy new experiences without moving out (they mention “Valencia” and “to be in a different world”)

    The benefits are explained in a very common and understandably language, and after that paragraph, they add another advantage, just one short line, thing that makes it fluent.

    Credible credentials, easy contact with the supplier (direct entry to the web), useful and earthly promises (2 books free, half payment for 2 months…)

    Only one objection:
    No one signs the letter and there isn’t a polite sentence of goodbye.

    Rebeca.

  2. Again, Rebeca’s comment says it all. This is a good piece of work.
    Let me just mention a couple of things. I think you could have used a different verb tense in the “promise” part, for example the WILL future form. I like the attractive, a bit pushing language “don’t be the last one to start enjoying…” “all this comes together with…”
    The rest has already been said by Rebecca. Where you in a hurry to finish? For example, the PS doesn’t match the wonderful ideas you have come up with in the rest of the mail.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: